Forever Resolution
by SimaYi05
Summary: Can human change for the sake of somebody? After making a resolution, they will die...
1. Introduction:

**Disclaimer:** **You all know what everybody says right? Very well..**

**I don't own Dynasty Warriors, I don't own the Characters.. It is belong to Koei? (Am i right?) Yeah! I only own the story & the Ideas.. Oh com'on! Everybody has a Idea! Unless if you don't have Nuts! Hahaha! Joking.. Just don't mind what i say, cause i am now fully retarded..**

**Peace!

* * *

**

Introduction:

Forever Resolution

What is your Resolution as a human? Need to Change or to improve some things in your life? Like everyone else, all of the people in the Earth is not perfect, Aliens do. So why don't make a useful resolution and do what ever you want to fill up those lacks in life? Yeah.. Some are Stupid, Coward, Crazy, Brainless. And some are Smart, Arrogant, Selfish, Jealous. And yeah.. Some are Fat, Thin, Boney, Gay, Have a bad Odor and whatever.. So many things.. Not only one, Not only two but many.

Change! Nothing will gonna lose. If your life is unhappy, Go and dress like a Clown and run like a sissy.. That is totally Funny. Oh life.. Is not like the Ancient. All those dudes know only themselves.. Fools. Better to try it. Really.. Nothing is gonna lose, just getting flip like an ass. That resolutions will be fun if you think it wise.. Or if you don't think, you might as well Die. Some people never learn.. How poor. But Hell do it! Make a Resolution! So you know what is the best.. Luckyasses.

The story is.. All of the Characters must make changes, to find a better tomorrow. Be nice anyways..

Dynasty: Wei

Kingdom of Wei has a 13 great generals, But half of them is a Big mistake! How can they change their lives with

those resolutions?

When they will learn those stupidness?

Or be a good and interesting person?

Can they take their shower regularly?

Or be forever Pig?

Can someone change his sex?

Or be jealous to his wife?

Can someone stop being so arrogant?

Or be a loving father?

Can a brute become a sissy?

Or a small will became tall?

Can someone stop being so beautiful?

Or a helpful brother?

Blah Blah Blah.. Stupid Questions..

You know what i'm talking about.. As if you don't know the characters. But really, Not all characters are smell sucks.. It's just an idea right?

Why don't i Shut Up? If you like, Punch your screen maybe your hands will reach my face..Hehe. Want to try?

I hope this story will go on, Hahaha i am a Big one!

That's all for now.

End Introduction:

* * *

**Stop!**


	2. Cruel Father

First Day: A cruel Father

At the castle where Cao Cao is reading magazines..

Cao Cao: Ho La La.. Crazy females spinning my lungs, Yeah! I wish i can have 'em all! How can this be great.. It's not so nude? only naked! Hahaha!

Someone knocks..

Cao Cao: Who's there?

Cao Pi: It's me Cao Pi.

Cao Cao: Ah crap.. Come in.

Cao Pi enters..

Cao Cao: So my son of a cow? i mean Cao.. What's up?

Cao Pi: I need to talk about my throne.

Cao Cao: You? Take mines? Haha! NEVER!

Cao Pi: Oh com'on DAD! You're almost reach 100 years old of your damn age.. Give it to me!

Cao Cao: Cocky.. Ooooh.

Cao Pi: Not again, Reading that magazines!

Cao Cao: So? Any problem with that my son?

Cao Pi: You're Faking my mother, all of those! replacing her!

Cao Cao: Blah Blah.. You're more fake than her.

Cao Pi: FINE! I tell mom!

Cao Cao: Fine tell, No one will listen anyways to you boy.

Cao Pi: Why are you so a big Fucker?

Cao Cao: You wanna know?

Cao Pi: Yes..

Cao Cao: Ask the moon, then fart.. Haha!

Cao Pi: Arrgh! I'm so stupid! talking to my none sense Fart Father!

Cao Cao: Sorry.. Lonely Boy. Just drink some milk..

Cao Pi: I hate you!

Cao Cao: Me too...

Cao Pi walked over thru the door, slammed and leave..

Cao Cao: Some son are you..

While in the Kitchen..

Zhang Liao: Hey! I have it first!

Xu Huang: No! Me!

Pang De: I've touched it first!

Xu Zhu: Uh.. I ate it first!.. Duh?

Zhang, Huang, and De: Arrgh! Crazy BURGER! Damn you Fatass!

Xu Zhu: Uh uh uh..

Sima Yi: It's just a burger.

Zhang Liao: We're not like you.. You Don't EAT!

Sima Yi: Maybe? But world didn't want you to eat.. It wants all of you wretch to DIE!

Pang De: You're too weird.

Sima Yi: Maybe?

Zhang He: Lalala! Beautiful!

Sima Yi: Oh stop you dog.

Zhang He: What? I didn't do anything.

Sima Yi: Your voice! Annoying like hell!.. Burning me!

Zhang He: Really?

Sima Yi: Yes!

Zhang He: Lalalalala!

Sima Yi: Damn you Faggot!

Cao Pi comes..

Cao Pi: You will pay you Old Fish!

All: Uh?

Sima Yi: Obviously.. You fight lord Cao Cao again. Am i right?

Cao Pi: Uh huh? I wish he dies!

Xu Huang: So what happend?

Cao Pi: I-uh..

Sima Yi: Ask your throne again?

Cao Pi: Yeah..

Sima Yi: Oh com'on stupid.. You know he will never give it to you unless you make a good deeds.

Cao Pi: What deeds?

Sima Yi: Ask the dog, Then kick it..

Cao Pi: What the! Grrrrr...

Sima Yi: I'm not a solutionist! It's your problem anyways. So we don't care! I only can give some advice..

Cao Pi: Whatever..

Sima Yi: Fine. Look some mud..

Cao Pi leaves..

Xu Zhu: Duh.. I want Burger..

Sima Yi: Eat your booger fatass.

All ecxept Xu Zhu: Ugh..

Xu Zhu: Yummy!

Sima Yi: Go and eat..

In the garden..

Zhen Ji: Ah.. What a beautiful flower.

Cao Ren: It looks sucks..

Zhen Ji: NO IT ISN'T!

Cao Ren: Whatever..

Zhen Ji: Some Drug lord you are..

Cao Ren: What! No i'm not!

Zhen Ji: Oh' Com'on.. you're using Marijuana am i right?

Cao Ren: Liar!

Zhen Ji: Haha!

Cao Pi cames..

Cao Ren: Hey? Why a long fucked up face?

Cao Pi: He is a big COW!

Zhen Ji: What's wrong?

Cao Pi: Father.. Damn he!

Cao Ren: Ah... what happend?

Cao Pi: He is too selfish!

Zhen Ji: In what? In the throne?

Cao Ren: You know it's not a big deal..

Zhen Ji: Yeah! What's the big deal?

Cao Pi: No.. It's not only that.

Zhen Ji: What?

Cao Pi: Uh.. Nothing. Don't mind..

Cao Ren: Sheesh.. You're so borning.

Cao Pi: Could you please, Just help me?

Zhen Ji & Cao Ren: Sure.. only 5 millon.

Cao Pi: What!

Zhen Ji: Of course not. We're just joking.. You are my husband, so i am willingly have to help.

Cao Pi: Awww...

Cao Ren: She's right.. So what kind of help?

Cao Pi: Sima Yi said that, To make Cao Cao- i mean father to be good to me, i need to make him some good deeds..

Zhen Ji: And?

Cao Pi: I don't know how.

Cao Ren: It's so simple!

Cao Pi: What?

Cao Ren: hmmm?

After 10 hours...

Zhen Ji & Cao Pi: _(Snoring?)_..

Cao Ren: I KNOW IT!

Zhen Ji & Cao Pi: _(Awake & Shout)_.. WHAT!

Cao Ren: I know how!

Cao Pi: How!

Cao Ren: You're father's birthday is next week, so all you got do is to give him all those SEXY magazines selling here in China!

Cao Pi: NO WAY! I don't have $$$!

Zhen Ji: OH Shoot! No! Don't buy stupid magz!

Cao Ren: Why?

Zhen Ji: None of your business shorty!

Cao Pi: Uh?..

Zhen Ji: _(Wishpering to herself).. No, damn you Cao Ren! All those magz.. Models are ME! ME! ME! i don't want Cao Pi to know it! __Bastard annoying little Drug lord! Wish you were DIE!_

Cao Ren: So? Buy or Not?

Cao Pi: Ok! Buy!

Zhen Ji: Nooooooooooooo!

Cao Pi: What if it didn't works?

Cao Ren: I don't know.. Maybe you should ask someone else.

Cao Pi: Sure.. Thanks anyways.

Cao Ren: It's ok.. Just Ask the Sun and Burn yourself.

Cao Pi: ...!

Cao Ren: Hahah.. Jokes.

Cao Pi leaves and go to the library crying..

Cao Pi: _(Crying like a baby brat) _Huhuhuhu... I hate father! I hate, I hate, I hate him!

Someone is at the library too..

Sima Yi: What the?

Cao Pi: Oh it's you..Huhu.

Sima Yi: Why are you crying?

Cao Pi: I wish i never born.. _(Sniffing)._

Sima Yi: Why? You don't like Earth?

Cao Pi: No! I hate my blood! Family! MY SURNAME! ALL THINGS INVOLVED TO CAO!

Sima Yi: Really? That's too sad.

Cao Pi: Since i was little.. Father don't love me, He only sees my other siblings. Praising them but me? he just dumped me! He don't recognize my ability, my kindness, and as a son..Huhu. Why? I don't have the right to deserve this! I didn't do anything to make him feel so bad.. If he only knew.. That i love him so much.

Sima Yi: _(Having a teardrops and sniffing) _Oh my.. I didn't know that, he is being so cruel to you.. I mean, how can he act so a shit melting pepper salty creep ass junk? He is bad.. I feel your depression now.

Cao Pi: I know, And it is really a stupid thing.. Some Fath--..

A annoying sound disturb them..

Sima Yi: What is that?

Cao Pi: Maybe.. Someone is listening..

Sima Yi: Who are you!

Cao Pi: Show your face Sour Cream!

Sima Yi: Huh?

Cao Pi: Don't mind it.. Now COME ON!

But it was really silent..

Sima Yi: We better have to leave...

So the two leave.. Then the man showed up... It is... SECRET!

After 3 days...

Where Cao Cao is gone in a 2 day vacation, The others led a meeting to help Cao Pi..

At the Library again..

Sima Yi: Ok.. Cao Pi told me his feelings, so we must help him.

Cao Ren: I said to him that buy Cao Cao a Sexy Magz..

Zhen Ji & Sima Yi: Noo!

Xu Huang: Why?

Sima Yi: Ask the worm and eat it!.. None of your business!

Zhen Ji: Yeah!

Cao Pi: Ok Ok! Fine! I will never gonna buy that crap!

Sima Yi & Zhen Ji: Phew! _(Looked to each other).._

Zhang Liao: So? What's the plan?

Sima Yi: The plan is--..

Zhang He rush in to the door and sing..

Zhang He: _I Feel pretty! I Feel Beautiful! But never be an UGLY BITCH! Lalala!_

Sima Yi: Grrrr... Argh! Stupid! Damn you Fancy Faggot! You're ruining my day!.. EVERYDAY! WHEN DO YOU MAKE YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Zhang He: I don't know? Ask your mom then kill her!

Sima Yi: What the! You Fool!

Cao Pi: Stooop! Please! My head is gonna blow! Just help me!

All: Ok... We're sorry.

Sima Yi: I will kill you later Zhang He.. Ahem! So back to the topic. We all know that Lord's Birthday is on Sunday, until he is gone we got to make some nice and beautiful preparations. All Cao Cao wants, give it to him. So when he suprised, we tell it was Cao Pi's idea.. Got it? so who is in?

Zhen Ji: I'm in.

Cao Ren: Out?

Xu Huang: Both?

Zhang Liao: Er?

Zhang He: In..

Xu Zhu: Is there any Food?

Sima Yi: No Fatass! Just hell die!

Xu Zhu: Huhuhu..

Pang De: In or Out?

Cao Pi: That is a great thing.. I am IN..

Sima Yi: Humm.. If you're like it or not.. I will have to decide. It is accepted.. We must help Cao Pi, Now move out..

All: Yeah!

* * *

**Now this is the first situation.. What will gonna happen next? Can their plan will be sucsessful or failed? Can Cao Cao makes his forever resolution?Read the next..**

**Hahaha..**


	3. The Preparation & The Party

Next Day: The Preparations & the Party

Sima Yi: Well well well.. Does anyone have their nuts?

All: Maybe?

Sima Yi: Ah shit..

While preparing..

Zhen Ji: Stop it!

Zhang He: What? I didn't do anything!

Zhen Ji: Stop touching my ass!

Cao Pi: WHAT?

Zhang He: No i'm not! I'm touching Sima's ass, not yours!

Zhen Ji & Sima Yi: Asshole!

Cao Ren: Oooh.. Nice balls..

All: What?

Cao Ren: No.. I mean party balls!

Cao Pi: Uh?

Cao Ren: Nevermind.

While others working with the party, Sima Yi goes to the kitchen..

Sima Yi: What the hell! Xu Zhu! Crazy Fatass, Don't eat that!

Xu Zhu: Duh.. I am hungry.

Sima Yi: No!

Xu Zhu: Uh uh uh..

Xu Zhu leaves..

Sima Yi: Oooh.. At lease he didn't eat the salad.. Great!

So Sima Yi eat a plate of green salad..

Back to the work..

Cao Pi: Hey.. This thing, is giving me a bad nerve.

Zhen Ji: Oh don't worry sweety, we are here. You don't need to be scared ok?

Cao Pi: I hope so.

After 6 hours of preparation...

Sima Yi: Phew! At last! We're done! Now, all we have to do is.. To wait for Cao Cao's call.

All: Right!

After a minute..

Hey! Lord Cao Cao is Here!

Sima Yi: What! Already?

Cao Pi: Quick! Fastbreak!

So everybody dress like formal..

Then Cao Cao shown up together with Xiahou Dun & Yuan..

Cao Cao: Huh? What is this?

All: Happy Birthday Lord Cao Cao!

Xiahou Dun: Wow! This is unexpected..

Cao Cao: Well thank you..

Now everybody celebrated the party, so other kingdoms came too..

Cao Cao: Oh it's you Liu Bei.

Liu Bei: Happy Deat- i mean Birthday Cao Cao.. _(Giving Cao Cao a simple buddha statue)_

Cao Cao: Silly nut cracker..

Zhuge Liang: It is a pleasure that to be here Lord Cao Cao.. _(Giving him a bottle of Novelino Wine)_

Cao Cao: Humm.. Thanks.

Sun Quan: Glad to be part of your happings Cao Punk.. _(Giving Cao a box of Tobbaco Cigarettes)_

Cao Cao: Yeah right.. Thanks Sun Sucks..

Sun Quan: What!

Cao Cao: Hahaha!

Zhou Yu: Happy Day Lord Cao Cao.. _(Giving him a new suit)_

Cao Cao: Thanks anyways.. So? Want to join to my other generals?

Zhuge Liang: Oh totally sure..

At Wei's table side..

Sima Yi: Damn that! Shu & Wu is here?

Cao Ren: Well.. He invited those bitch. No choice..

All: Argh!

Zhuge & Zhou Yu came to them..

Sima Yi: Oh Com'on! Some ants is bugging me now!

Zhuge Liang: Where? In your pants?

Sima Yi: Ask your horse then fuck it!

Zhuge Liang: What?

Zhou Yu: He's too fucked up..

The three strategist is arguing and blabbing about some shit, while the three lords are..

Cao Cao: Still! I am the greatest!

Sun Quan: It's just your birthday..

Liu Bei: Yeah! All you need is to die!

Cao Cao: Drum Dumb Dumb.. You're born losers.

Then some sounds hear..

Zhen Ji: Ladies & Gentle fucked up mens.. Some man here is want to have a presentation! Here he is, Cao Pi!

Sima Yi: What! Too early! Not now!

Cao Pi Showed up with a elegant emperor's dress..

Cao Cao: What the hell is going on?

Zhen Ji: Now!

Cao Pi: Uh.. I-...

* * *

**That's it for now! I'll just think what will happend to Cao Pi making some stupid things in the party... Well?**


	4. Cao Pi's Madness

Continuation: Cao Pi's Madness

Cao Pi: Uh.. I-... Want to.. Perform something and-...

Cao Cao: Blah Blah! You're just wasting your time!

Cao Pi: That's IT! Damn you!

All: _(Gasp)_ What?

Cao Cao: So your acting so great now! You have no right to talk to me like that! I'm your Father!

Cao Pi: Yeah! You are my father! But... You didn't treat me like your own son!

Cao Cao: _(Stoped and feel so confused)_ I supposed so, I heard all..

Cao Pi: What?

Sima Yi shouted..

Sima Yi: HE IS THE ONE WHO'S LISTENING AT THE LIBRARY!

Cao Pi: Nooo!

Sima Yi: Oh brother.._(Slamming his face)_

Cao Pi: _(Started crying)_ I feel i'm not part of this family.. i don't know why. but why are you so a bitch?

Cao Cao: What the!

Cao Pi: Ever since i'm born and live in this fucking world, I didn't experience some love of my father.. Did i do something wrong to make you mad at me? Com'on old man! Talk!

Cao Cao: You want to know why! Huh!

Cao Pi: Yes! All!

Cao Cao: Beacuse I HATE YOU!

All get shocked as well as Cao Pi...

Cao Pi: What? _(Shouted)_ NO! I DON'T DESERVE THIS! WHY! WHY! WHY!.. WHY I BORN! WHY I HAVE A CRUEL FATHER! HOW CAN THIS BE!

At Wei's table..

Sima Yi: Oh my god.. No.

Zhen Ji: Cao Pi! _(Hugging Sima Yi)_

Zhang He: Huh? why you!.. _(Looking mad to Zhen Ji & Sima Yi)_

Cao Ren: I feel so sorry to him..

At Cao Cao's table..

Xiahou Dun: That's enough! Cao Cao you're being so bad to him..

Cao Cao: So?

Liu Bei: You said.. You heard him, So why you don't get affected?

Sun Quan: Yeah.. We mean, He only wants you.

And..

Cao Pi: Fine! You don't want me? I don't want you too! _(Gets his sword out of his belt and run to attack him)_

Cao Cao: No! Guards i order you to stop him!

Sima Yi: No! Let him!

All: What!

The guards listen to Sima Yi.. Then Cao Pi continued running..

Cao Cao: Right! You want DEATH! COME AND GET IT! _(Cao Cao takes Xiahou Dun's Scimitar)_

Xiahou Dun: No! Don't!..

Cao Pi: Arrrgh! YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!

Cao Cao: Charge! Let see if can kill me! I know you want me!

Cao Pi: What? _(He stoped and kneeled on the floor)_

Cao Cao: Oh what happened? Your bones broked?

Cao Pi: I'll ask you.. Are you sure if you die you will go to heaven?

Cao Cao: _(He get shocked to what Cao Pi asked, then his face turn to white)_ Why you ask?

Cao Pi: You want an answer?

Cao Cao: Damn! Tell it!

Cao Pi: Ask a grave then kill yourself!.. NEVER!

Cao Cao: Crazy Frog! _(Then he begun to think) Heaven? Of course i will but... No?_

Cao Pi: So? Evil Dad! What cha gonna do? Be immortal!

Cao Cao: Shut up! _No.. I know my life will never last.. I'm too old. (Looked to Cao Pi)_

Cao Pi still cying then Cao Cao walk at him..

Cao Pi: Huh?

Cao Cao help him to stand...

Cao Pi: What?.. what are you doing?

Cao Cao: I ah.. I thought i didn't hurt you, and those things i acted i thought it's nothing to you.. Can you give me another chance?

Cao Pi: _(Change his mood, feeling glad to what he heard) _Really?

Cao Cao: I guess so.. I mean it's my birthday so why don't i make a resolution? I think i will have to change, for the sake of my kingdom.. so can you forgive me my son? I heard those words and i kinda hitted to that.. All i want to say is.. Sorry and I love you Cao Pi.

Cao Pi: _(Tears came out like fountains) _Huhuhu.. I'm sorry too dad. I'm too bad.

Cao Cao hug his son..

At Wei's table...

Zhen Ji: Awww.. That was sad.

Sima Yi: Plan worked!

Cao Ren: Good thing i gave Cao Cao a box of Sexy Magz.

Zhen Ji & Sima Yi: WHAT!

All looked to them..

Sima Yi: I ya.. Saw a cockroach!

Zhen Ji: Me too!

All: Huh?

Zhang He: What's wrong with that Magz?

Sima Yi: Gay..

Zhang He: Huh!

Now...

Cao Cao: Uh Cao Pi? Thanks for being a good son..

Cao Pi: It's ok dad.. I'm happy.

Cao Cao: So my Forever Resolution is.. To be a loving father and i will do it.

All: Awwww...

Cao Pi: Huhuhu...

So they continue the party happily and lively..

After a Week, Cao Cao died. now Cao Pi is the new leader of Wei..

At the grave..

Sima Yi: Oh.. Condolence.

Cao Pi: Thanks.. but.. YEAH! NO MORE! I AM THE LORD! BYE DAD! SEE YOU IN HELL! YEAHAW!..

All: What!

* * *

**So Cao Cao is now change but die.. The first resolution is done, what about the rest? Sad..**

**Cao Cao's resolution ends...**


	5. Fatty Joe

Second Day: Fatty Joe

After Lord Cao Cao died...

Cao Pi: Oh life! I feel the POWER!

Sima Yi: Oh shut up!

Cao Pi: Tah! You're just jealous!

Sima Yi: You know what?

Cao Pi: What?

Sima Yi: You're a plastic!

Cao Pi: Huh?

Sima Yi: You don't know it?

Cao Pi: No?

Sima Yi: Ask a mice, then SCREW IT!

Cao Pi: I'm hungry! Sima Yi I order you to get me a food!

Sima Yi: Fool!

Sima Yi got pissed but he have no choice to defy the emperor..

At the kitchen..

Sima Yi: Hey punk, got any food there?

Maid: None..

Sima Yi: Bu...but why? Where's the food?

Maid: Xu Zhu ate it all.

Sima Yi: He'd what!

Maid: Yeah..

Sima Yi: OH SON OF A PIG! XU ZHU!

Sima Yi's voice alerted everyone.. All of them went to the kitchen.

Zhang He: What happend my love!

Zhen Ji: Yeah! What happend love?

Zhen Ji and Zhang He looked each other mad..

Sima Yi: No food! Huhuhuhu...

Xiahou Dun: Really?

Xiahou Yuan: Oh i've seen Xu Zhu carried our refrigerator outside the castle.

All: What!

Sima Yi: Cao Pi is hungry!

Zhen Ji: Oh let him! Besides he don't need it!

Zhang He: Yeah!

Sima Yi: What if HE assasinates me! What you gonna do?

Zhen Ji & Zhang He: XU ZHU! WHERE IN THE ASS ARE YOU HIDING!

Others: Oh boy...

So Zhen Ji and Zhang He went outside to find Xu Zhu, then they saw him at the garden sleeping..

Zhen Ji: Wake up fatass!

Xu Zhu: _Snoring.. Zzzz.._

Zhang He: Oh com'on! You're in trouble!

Xu Zhu: _Snoring...Zzzz...!_

Zhen Ji & Zhang He: Useless..

Zhang He kicked him...

Xu Zhu: _Yawn..._

Zhen Ji: Where's the food fatass!

Xu Zhu: Inside my stomach?..Duh..

Zhang He: How irratating!

Zhen Ji: You're doomed! You have eaten all the food we need in the whole year! My husband..Uh to be! is hungry!

Zhang He: And my Sima Yi needs to bring her husband..to be? the food!

Zhen Ji: Your Sima Yi?

Zhang He: Yeah! My!

Zhen Ji: He don't want an ugly like you!

Zhang He: I am the role model of the most beautiful butterfly in the whole universe! You're just an ordinary house maid! Haha!

Zhen Ji: How dare you! Grrr... Stupid gay!

Zhang He: Hahahaha!

Xu Zhu: Duh... I'm still hungry..

Zhang He & Zhen Ji: Oh!

Zhen Ji & Zhang He tried to carry Xu Zhu but they can't because he's TOO FAT!

Zhang He: Oh..my..GOD! I'm running out of air!

Zhen Ji: Me...Too!

Xu Zhu: Heheh... That tickles!

Zhen Ji: What?

Zhang He: I give up! Let my love punish you!

Zhen Ji: He's not yours!

Back to the Kitchen..

Sima Yi: Eh.. Where are those fools?

Xu Huang: It's like 5 minutes late.

Cao Ren: Look! Cao Pi is here!

Cao Pi came..

Cao Pi: SIMA YI! I TOLD YOU TO GET ME MY FOOD!

Sima Yi: WELL MY FOOLISH LORD! WE DON'T HAVE ANY! YOU'RE GENERAL ATE THEM ALL!

Cao Pi: Uh?..

All: Oh geeze..

The two came in..

Zhen Ji: My love! I-..i mean Sima Yi!

Cao Pi: What?

Zhen Ji: Xu Zhu is outside..

Zhang He: Why don't you take care of him?

Sima Yi: Damn that fatass..

At the garden while Xu Zhu is all by himself..

Xu Zhu: Uh my tummy hurts.. Burrrrp! I think, I need a Diet! Yeah! I can't stand... I'm too heavy.. Oh.. HELP MEEE!

All went outside and they see Xu Zhu suffer..

Sima Yi: Muhahaha! You're big. Big as the boulder you have!

Zhang He: That will teach you a lesson!

Zhen Ji: Yeah! We're SEXY! AND SLIM! Not like you! Fatass!

Xu Zhu: Duh..I'll be good i swear..

Cao Pi: Aaw.. Help him.

So everybody helped him to get up..

Xiahou Dun: Man! You have got to lose 100 pounds!

Xu Huang: You're really heavy!

Pang De: Ugh.. My muscle pain..

Xiahou Yuan: Me too..

Xu Zhu: Duh.. I'm sorry? From now on, I will make a resolution! I will Diet! Hahaha!

All: Hope you do not lie fatass..

While Xu Zhu doing his regular diet.. He still eating fatty foods so he died in Heart attack, Cholesterol, Diabetes, Diarrhea, and Dehydration.

Oh my god...

* * *

**Hope Fatass will gain pounds in the heavens.. They are all SCARY! Second Resolution is done.. really scary.**

**Xu Zhu's resolution ends..**


	6. Beauty Factor

Third Day: Beauty Factor

Zhen Ji and Zhang He on the living room..

Zhen Ji: Ha! Everything you do, like putting on make-ups doesn't work for you. It's only for the girls!

Zhang He: I am more girly than you.

Zhen Ji: Who cares?

Zhang He: Sima Yi!

Zhen Ji: Ugh..

Zhang He: Stop being so beautiful.. We all know that your face is only a surgery!

Zhen Ji: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Zhang He: Fake Face! Hahaha!

Zhen Ji: Grrr! I HATE YOU!

Zhen Ji leaves..

At the soldier quarters where Emperor Cao Pi and Strategist Sima Yi is checking those new recruit dudes..

Cao Pi: How many soldiers we have now?

Soldier: 50 sir..

Sima Yi: What? I thought you've get almost 1,000 men in only 1 week?

Soldier: I uh.. Half of them have been salvage by the bandits and.. others have been died by food poisoning..

Cao Pi & Sima Yi: HUH! But how!

Soldier: Your supplies have parasites! Lice, leeches, and cockroaches is on our drinks and foods, half of us almost die too sucka!

Sima Yi: How dare you!

Soldier: Oh man..

Cao Pi: You have no right to talk to us like that! You're just a beggar!

Soldier: We quit! My fellow soldiers, join to me and we will go to Shu!

Cao Pi & Sima Yi: NO WAY!

Soldiers: Bye stupids!

Cao Pi: Huhuhuhu... You're a big fool Sima Yi.

Sima Yi: It's not my fault! It's-...

Zhen Ji came..

Zhen Ji: Huhuhuhu... Zhang He pissed me!

Cao Pi: Who cares?

Zhen Ji: WHAT!

Sima Yi: I do..

Zhen Ji: Awww...

Sima Yi: I do care for you Cao Pi.

Zhen Ji: HUH! I THOUGHT I WAS?..

Sima Yi: You didn't let me finish my word beautiful!

Zhen Ji: Yeah.. I am beautiful!

Cao Pi: Who knows?

Sima Yi: I do..

Zhen Ji: Awww...

Sima Yi: I do know how much we lost our soldiers..

Zhen Ji: Are you fucking me off!

Sima Yi: Who knows?

Cao Pi: I do..

Zhen Ji: Huh?

Cao Pi: I do not know how to keep your mouth shut!

Zhen Ji: Why! Why someone ruins my day!

Cao Pi & Sima Yi: Who cares?

Zhen Ji: I DO!

Cao Pi & Sima Yi: Ah?..

Zhen Ji: I DO CARE FOR THE COMING OF YOUR DEATH SWEETHEARTS!

Sima Yi: For real..

Cao Pi: Let's get out of here my Sima Yi..

The two go away and leave the poor Zhen Ji behind..

Zhen Ji: How rude.. Some can't learn manners!

* * *

**Zhen Ji leave the Wei palace and went to an old barand get drunk because of her problem... What will happend?**

**Can her fellow generals have the guts to find her?... Dunno.**


	7. At The Bar

Continuation: At the bar

It's like 11:00 pm..

Zhen Ji: Yip! Gimme more wine! _Calling the bartender.._

Bartender: Ma'am you are already drunked, maybe you should stop?

Zhen Ji: I pay money so stop making me mad! Ugh...

The bartender leaves..

Zhen Ji: Yeah! Wine! Fuck all those human! I am beautiful!

Costumer: Shut up lady!

Zhen Ji: Make me! Just go out and die! Hahaha!

Then a heroic guy came in to the bar to drink..

Heroic Guy: Can i have a bottle of wine?

Bartender: Yes sir..

At Zhen Ji's table..

Zhen Ji: HEY! I SAID MY WINE!

Costumer: Bitch! Don't mess with here!

The heroic guy looked at Zhen Ji..

Heroic Guy: What? Zhen Ji of Wei?..

Zhen Ji: It's you-..!

At the Wei castle..

Cao Pi: Where is that Zhen Ji!

Sima Yi: It's almost late..

Zhang He: Who cares?

Cao Pi & Sima Yi: WE DO!

Zhang He: What!

Back to the bar...

Zhen Ji: Am i pretty?

Heroic Guy: Yeah..

Zhen Ji: Awww... You're so sweet! Cheers!

Heroic Guy: So what happend? You're looked lonely..

Zhen Ji: No one cares for me!

Heroic Guy: I-..uh, I do..

Zhen Ji: Really?

Heroic Guy: Yeah..

Zhen Ji: Why does everyone being rude to me? I know that i am beautiful..

Heroic Guy: Maybe you should give the others a chance to be beautful too, you know helping them?

Zhen Ji: I guess.. Ugh, I must go..

Heroic Guy: Ok..

When Zhen Ji went outside..

Heroic Guy: Now.. be ready.

Outside..

Zhen Ji: I'd better be a good person now.. Sheesh.. Yipes! Oh well, I guess i have to make a resolution. I have to stop being so beautiful, Let Zhang He be.. and-..

A disturbing noise heard and it's a...

Zhen Ji: Nooooooooo!

At the Wei castle.. after 1 and a half hours..

Cao Pi: Hey... I'm tired of waiting for my bitch. What time is it anyways?

Sima Yi: Ah.. 12:30..

Zhang He: You have got to be kidding me! It's my favorite show, gonna be start!

Cao Pi: What show?

Zhang He: Uh..Cinderella?

Cao Pi & Sima Yi: Ugh...

A soldier came.. with a box.

Soldier: My lord, a strange gift has brought to you.

Cao Pi: From who?

Soldier: No name..

Cao Pi: Ok you may leave..

The Soldier bowed and give the gift to Cao Pi..

Cao Pi: Humm.. I wonder what's inside.

He opened it and..

All: WHAT! NO! ZHEN JI'S HEAD!

Cao Pi: FUCK THAT!

Sima Yi: A note..

Sima Yi reads the note..

"Wei.. Your end is near! This is the the head of Zhen Ji! We ambushed her and you are next! Hahahaha! By Yuan Xi.."

Cao Pi: Noo! dammit! Nobleasses are still alive!

Sima Yi:God..

Zhang He: Really? No more Zhen Ji? YAHOO! I'm the only beautiful left!

Cao Pi & Sima Yi: SHUT UP!

Zhang He: What did i do now?..

* * *

**No wonder Zhen Ji will get ambushed.. Freakin Yuan Xi the heroic guy. Nobleass.. Maybe she can help those ugly creatures in heaven with Cao Cao & Fatass.. Oh well.**

**Zhen Ji's resolution ends..**


	8. Help Me Please

Fourth Day: Help me please

It's the warriors training day, everybody is outside.

Cao Pi: Ok everyone, you need to practice more for you to be stronger than anybody else.

Sima Yi: You fool.. You need to train alot more than anybody here because you're just a plain sissy!

Cao Pi: Are you talking to me?

Sima Yi: No! I'm talking to the tree behind you sucka.

Cao Pi: Whatever.. Retarded.

Sima Yi: You're more retarded than I am!

While everybody trains theirselves, Xiahou Dun and Yuan have some other business.

Xiahou Dun: Looks like you're more weak than I am?

Xiahou Yuan: No I'm not, Humph! Wait and see..

Xiahou Dun: Whatever.. You have no match.

Xiahou Yuan: So why don't you help me then?

Xiahou Dun: For what. to build up more reputation? Tch!

Xiahou Yuan: You're mean.. Some brother are you!

Xu Huang, Zhang Liao, Cao Ren, Zhang He, and Dian Wei came..

Zhang He: Pitiful little brats..

Xu Huang: There are no day that you don't fight.

Cao Ren: Right.

Xiahou Dun: So what?

Zhang Liao: Because, you are brothers!

Xiahou Yuan: Who cares?

All: We do!

Xiahou Dun: Oh for the love pete..

Zhang He: Don't be so stupid, just be good.

Xiahou Dun: I'm outta here.

Xiahou Dun leaves..

Dian Wei: Are you ok Yuan?

Xiahou Yuan: Don't know..

Zhang He: It's ok.

All: Awwwww...

Xiahou Yuan: Fuck off..

Sima Yi came..

Sima Yi: What happend?

Zhang He: Hello my love!

Sima Yi: Wha?... Uggh..

Xu Huang: The Xiahou Punks are fighting again.

Cao Ren: I have a plan..

* * *

**This is short, I'll just think what will gonna do next.. I'm not really in the good mood for this.**

**Got to think of something else.. Hahaha.**


	9. Planning With Cao Ren

Fourth Day: Planning with Cao Ren

Zhang He: Eh what's the plan now Jollibee?

Sima Yi: Yeah what's the plan now Jollyass?

Cao Ren: Who you calling an ass!

All: You...

Cao Ren: Ch.. Right.

Sima Yi: Oh you know what, maybe i'll just think of the plan better than you.

Cao Ren: No way! I've been studying master plan since I was in kinder!

Sima Yi: Oh really? I've been studying all of the plans and strategy since I was a fetus! Bitch...

All: You what?

Sima Yi: Ignore me!

Xu Huang: God Sima Yi you're a gross.

Sima Yi: ...

Zhang He: Are you gonna fight like a shit and forget what are we going to do?

Sima Yi: Why don't you just shut up and die?

Zhang He: Bu..but MY LOVE!

Sima Yi: SHUT UP! I don't want you to be my wife! Go to hell!

All: Oooohh...

Dian Wei: Hey we're running out of time.

Zhang Liao: Yeah it's getting dark now!

After 5 minutes...

Cao Ren: I've got it!

All except Sima Yi: What! What!

Cao Ren: We kiddnap Xiahou Yuan!

Sima Yi: Eh is that a plan?

Cao Ren: But of course! We will act like a retards kiddnaping Xiahou Yuan and Dun will going to help him!

All: Yeah! That's right!

Sima Yi: I have nothing to say to you guys...

Cao Pi cames...

Cao Pi: Well well well... Some kind of a meeting?

Sima Yi: Who cares?

Cao Pi: Hah! You're just a big loser!

Sima Yi: My ass...

Cao Pi: Huh?

Cao Ren: What are we waiting for? Let's get strated!

Sima Yi: I'll just burn the house... call me later if you're prepared.

Zhang He: Can I come?

Sima Yi: NO!

Zhang He: But I really wanna go with you!

Sima Yi: Piss off if you don't want to be an ash you ass.

Zhang He: Very rude.

Cao Ren: Ok this is the plan.

After 2 hours...

Cao Ren: You got it now?

All: Yeah!

Cao Pi: Hey? Something smells burning... What is it?

Xu Huang: OH GOD! Sima Yi?

Zhang He: OH MY GOD IT'S MY ROOM! MY MAKE-UPS! DRESSES! MY BEAUTY PRODUCTS! Damn! Butterflies? Ehh!

Sima Yi cames..

Sima Yi: Muhahaha! Told you I will gonna burn some house!

Zhang He: Oh you little mother fucker!

Cao Ren: Stop it! Lets move to the plan!

Sima Yi: Hahahaha...

* * *

**Eh I can't think of anything yet. Some story... Burn it if you like! Damn it..**


End file.
